Border collies are amazing dogs, but as pets they are not for the faint-hearted or anyone who likes life quiet, easy, or their house free from a) shed fur, b) mud.

Yawn. Stretch. Nice to see you down here. I’ve been waiting AGES for you to come down. Back door now, back door now, back door now….
That’s better. That’s what that plant is outside for, right?
My bowl’s empty, my bowl’s empty…. That’s DOG food. That’s boring, I’ll eat it later. What have you got? What’s that? How do you know I won’t like that? I might like that.
I don’t like that. Can we go for a walk yet?
You’re going back upstairs. That’s rubbish. But it means you’re getting ready for our walk. Hurry up, hurry up. Why do you need a shower anyway?
You’ve got my lead, you’ve got my lead, yay!!!! Yes, I’ll get down, but, you’ve got my lead, it’s too exciting. Ok, yes, I will get down. Look, I’m sitting by the front door. I’m down, I’m sitting, I’m ready, come on, come on.
Up the drive, hurray. Oh no, we’re not going in the car? I’m not getting in there. I’m sick every time in that thing. I’m so not getting in there. Oh, we’re not going in the car. Hurray. I’m going to pee on next door’s wall.
(45 minutes or so later.)
We’re home. If we have to. Do we have to? We have to. Take my lead off then, don’t have to put up with it now. Take it off. Time to play ball.
Here’s the ball, you throw or kick it. Here’s the ball, you throw or kick it. Here’s the ball, you throw or kick it. Whatever you’ve stopped to do is boring. Here’s the ball, you throw or kick it. I’m going to run out on to the decking with it now. And I’ve dropped it down the steps. You can fetch it. I could fetch it, but I’m not going to fetch it. You can fetch it.
Here’s the ball, you throw or kick it. Here’s the ball, you throw or kick it. I’m going to eat some breakfast now.
What’s that you’re doing? Can I join in? Is in interesting? What’s that you’ve got? I need to investigate? Oh, it’s boring. Here’s the ball, you throw or kick it.
I need a drink. Not that clean water in my dog bowl. There’s a bucket in the garden with rain water in it.
I’ve got a bucket. I’m running through the kitchen into the hall with a bucket. It hasn’t got water in it. It did have water in it, but that’s on the kitchen floor now. Well, you put water on the kitchen floor sometimes. And play with the mop. I played with the mop yesterday, You didn’t notice. It’s in the garden now. Somewhere.
I’ve got a bucket. And I’m going to leave it in the hall because that was a noise outside and I need to investigate.
Ok, I’ve checked it out… oh, butterfly. I’ll have it, I’ll have it… I’ll get one of those one day.
What’s that you’re doing now? Can I join in? That looks boring. Here’s the ball, you throw or kick it.
You can’t be worn out, it’s only half past ten. Ooh, noise in the garden…
Look, I’ve found a flower pot. Well, it’s empty now….

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